Reconciliations
by Skiddy2002
Summary: Will's father passes away and Kevin reaches out to help him deal with his conflicted feelings. Contains spoilers up to Season 4, episode 10. Characters include: Will, Kevin, Gunnar, Avery, Cadence, Layla
1. Chapter 1

Will lay on his bed absent mindedly twirling his football between his hands. He was thinking about his last interaction with Wade Cole. He still couldn't believe that Wade had turned out to be gay and had even made a pass at him. Looking at Wade had been like seeing a mirror image of himself twenty years into the future. If he had stayed on his previous path and not come out publicly, he would have become Wade. On the one hand, Wade was a big country star with money, prestige, fame, fans around the world. He had it all, the same way Will could have if he had just stayed the course. But when Will looked at Wade, he didn't see all that. He had seen the truth, a man living a life that was hollow and empty and a complete lie.

Will wondered about Wade's wife. Was it possible that she didn't know about Wade? Was she oblivious or living the lie right along with Wade? How could either of them find happiness in that kind of relationship? Will thought about his marriage to Layla and everything he had put her through because of his secret. He hated himself for the lies he had told her, using her the way that he had. Layla had nearly died because of him. If he had never come clean with Layla, could he have kept up the lie? Could he have lied to her for years? Could he even go so far as to father her children and then lie to them too? From the outside, Wade looked like he had the perfect American family. Nobody knew that it was all based on a foundation of lies, deceit, and manipulation.

Will's life could have been the same. But what kind of life was it? The truth was that it wasn't a life at all. Wade had spent his entire life never knowing what true love was. Well, at least Will could say that he did. Despite the pain of not being with Kevin any more, he wouldn't trade it for anything. The happiest moments of his life had been the time that he spent with Kevin. Will was glad that he had found out about Wade. Seeing the hard, cold, ugly truth staring straight at him had put things into clearer perspective for Will. Since breaking up with Kevin, Will had wished that he could go back in time and take back coming out. Now he was positive that if he was given the choice between openly loving Kevin even knowing how brief it would be and wiping it all out and going back to the time before coming out, he wouldn't change it. He didn't want to end up like Wade.

Will stopped twirling his football as the weight of those words sunk deeper into his consciousness. He didn't want to end up like Wade. Will realized that this was something of an epiphany for him. All his life he thought he wanted to be like Wade. This was the first time that he understood that it wasn't. Okay, so if he no longer wanted to be Wade Cole, then what did he want? Did he want to continue to be a songwriter? Kevin was certainly happy being a songwriter and was successful at it. Nobody seemed to care that he was gay.

The more Will mulled that over the more he realized that songwriting wasn't the key to his happiness. It was fine for Kevin, but he was being honest when he told Kevin that it would feel like settling. Of course, he hadn't meant it the way it had come out. He hadn't meant to insult Kevin's career choice. He had only meant that it wasn't the right choice for him. Deep down he knew that performing was what he wanted to do more than anything else in the world. But he had tried that, and it had failed miserably. Then again, maybe Kevin was right. Maybe he was overreacting. Those girls were enjoying his performance. Yes, they pushed their gay friend to the front but was that such a big deal? He had certainly thought so at the time, but now he could look at it a little more objectively. Maybe he should give performing another shot.

Will sighed as he put his football down on the bed then rubbed his eyes. There were too many heavy thoughts rolling through his mind, and he was developing a headache. He was considering taking a break from his thoughts when his phone rang. With his eyes closed, he answered it without looking to see who it was. "Hello?"

"Will? Will Lexington?"

Will opened his eyes and furrowed his brow. The voice on the other end was an older male that he didn't recognize. "Yes, this is Will. Who's this?"

"You probably won't remember me. It's been a very long time. My name is Tom Harding. I'm a friend of your father's."

Will blinked as he thought back. Tom Harding, Tom Harding? That name did sound vaguely familiar. "I'm sorry…"

The man on the other end of the phone sighed slightly. "I didn't expect you to remember. As I said, it's been a very long time."

Will felt a trickle of uneasiness run down his spine, "Why are you calling me?"

There was a long hesitation from the other end of the phone before Tom finally spoke. "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this son. Your mother's in no condition, and I thought you should know. Just because you and your father have been on bad terms doesn't mean you don't have the right."

Will sat up in bed as the uneasy feeling grew inside him. "What are you talking about? What do I need to know?"

There was another long pause. "There's no easy way to say this. Your dad passed away yesterday afternoon. It was a heart attack. Very sudden. I'm so sorry."

Will's hand gripped the phone harder as he waited for a tidal wave of emotions to rush over him. A minute or two ticked past. He heard Tom say, "Son? Are you alright?" Will waited another minute. He felt…nothing. "Will? Are you still there?"

Will swallowed hard before replying, "Yes, I'm still here."

"Are you okay? I know I blindsided you with this." Tom said sympathetically.

Will cleared his throat, "Yes, I'm fine."

Will put down the phone a few minutes later after obtaining all the details regarding the funeral arrangements from Tom. He stared down at his hands for a long time without moving. Why didn't he feel anything? He hadn't spoken to his father since the day he came out. He hadn't expected to. It was understood with that last parting look between them that there was nothing left to say. Will had chosen his path, and it was not a decision that his father approved of.

Will slowly got up from the bed and went downstairs. He stood at the bottom of the staircase as he watched Gunnar cooking dinner at the stove while Avery was sitting on the couch bouncing Cadence on his knee. "Hey Will. Dinner won't be ready for a while. I just started it. I'm trying out something new. I hope you like…" Gunnar started before glancing over at Will and seeing the dazed expression on his face. "Everything okay?"

Will just looked at Gunnar blankly. "My father died."

Gunnar's eyes widened in shock. "Wait, what…when…how…ouch, dammit!"

Will watched Gunnar drop the pan he was holding back onto the stove then frantically turned the knobs to off as he sucked on his burned finger. By this time, Avery was standing in front of him with Cadence in his arms. "What happened?"

Will answered in a flat tone. "Heart attack. Yesterday afternoon."

"Oh Will." Gunnar said as he flung his arms around Will and hugged him.

Avery reached out and squeezed Will's shoulder. "I'm sorry Will."

Gunnar pulled back and said, "Are you okay?"

Will shook his head. "I don't feel anything."

To Will's infinite relief, Gunnar nodded his head understandingly. "That's not surprising."

"It isn't?" Will asked hopefully as he turned to Avery to see him nodding as well.

"You're just in shock. I mean, this was a surprise right? Your dad wasn't sick at all?" Avery questioned.

"Not that I knew of. I haven't spoken to him since I came out. It wasn't like he approved."

"Avery's right. You're just in shock. Trust me. There will be plenty of emotions to sort through before this is all said and done."


	2. Chapter 2

Will felt like he was sleepwalking through his day. The nothingness that he felt at hearing about his Dad's passing the day before had permeated his entire being. As a result, everything that he tried to do to keep himself busy failed at keeping his mind occupied for more than a few minutes. He flitted from one thing to the next like a moth trapped in a jar trying desperately to escape. Gunnar and Avery had both been supportive in their own ways. Gunnar had made it his mission to insure that Will either ate or had something to drink in his hands at all times. Avery pushed Cadence at him at least once every hour thinking that if anyone could pull Will out of his funk it would be her. But even Cadence's sweet face couldn't dispel Will's apathy.

In the early afternoon, Will's phone started ringing. Before he could get off the couch to grab it off the kitchen counter, his phone pinged indicating that he had a text message then another then another. Will picked up his phone and looked at the phone number but he didn't recognize it. He switched over to the text messages and saw one from Rayna, one from Luke and one from Layla. He disregarded the ones from Rayna and Luke for now and went straight to Layla's. He hadn't seen or spoken to Layla since she left town after Jeff's death, and he was anxious to know how she was doing. The text message simply said, Call me.

Will quickly dialed Layla's number. She answered it on the first ring. "Will! Are you alright? I tried to phone you as soon as I heard but your line was busy."

Will shook his head slightly in confusion. "Heard what?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Didn't…didn't you get some bad news?"

Will glanced at the phone in disbelief. "How do you know that? Did Gunnar or Avery call you?"

Will heard Layla puff out a breath in annoyance. "You haven't seen the tabloids."

"What are you talking about? What tabloids?"

"There's a story in the tabloids about your Dad passing."

"How the Hell do they know that?"

"Ugh, how do those bottom feeders know anything? They're awful, evil, horrible bastards, every single one of them. Can you believe that I'm still getting calls asking about Jeff's death? Wanting to know all the dirty, macabre details. They're hideous." Layla spat out.

Will was completely taken aback. "What are they saying about my Dad?"

"You don't even want to know."

Will closed his eyes. "Tell me."

Layla sighed and said, "Just that your Dad passed away and that the two of you were estranged because he couldn't accept that you're gay. You know how they turn everything into a huge drama. It's nothing but garbage." Will just hung his head. "I'm so sorry Will. Can I do anything for you?"

Will shook his head. "No. Are you back in town?"

"Not yet. I'm coming home in a few days. I'll call you as soon as I'm back. I want to see you."

Will ended the call with Layla just as Avery came downstairs. "Something wrong?"

"I just spoke with Layla. There's a tabloid article out about my Dad passing."

Avery looked at him in confusion. "How does your Dad's passing constitute a tabloid article?"

"Because I'm gay and my Dad and I were estranged because of it." Will said tiredly.

Avery rolled his eyes. "Oh please. You can't tell me that the tabloids are that hard up for stories. Surely one of the Kardashians did something stupid today."

Will and Avery turned their heads as Gunnar came through the front door with a bag of groceries. He looked grim as he said, "Hey. Um…there's something you should know."

Will just reached out his hand to Gunnar. "Hand it over."

Gunnar hesitated as he glanced over at Avery. "He already knows."

Gunnar reluctantly reached into the bag and brought out the paper handing it over to Will as he said, "I'm sorry."

Will opened it up and cringed at the large print, "GAY COUNTRY STAR DEVASTATED BY DEATH OF ESTRANGED FATHER." He had no sooner read it than his phone started going off again. Gunnar winced and said, "You're probably going to want to turn that off. Maybe indefinitely."

* * *

Will climbed into bed with a deep sigh. He glanced at the phone in his hand and wondered if he dared turn it back on. He had taken Gunnar's advice and turned the phone off for the remainder of the afternoon. He had retired early telling Gunnar and Avery that he was tired. They had watched him walk up the stairs with concern clearly showing in their eyes but they hadn't said anything. Now, in the sanctity of his bedroom, he debated whether he wanted to open this can of worms tonight or wait until the morning. He sighed again as he decided to bite the bullet and turned the phone on.

Will grimaced at the number of phone and text messages that he had. He scrolled through the phone messages first not recognizing many of the numbers. He listened to a couple of voice messages but ended up deleting them all when he realized that they were mostly from reporters wanting to know how he was feeling. Vultures! He skimmed through the text messages last. Many of these were from friends and acquaintances checking up on him but there were also a lot from people he barely knew or didn't know at all. He was just about to delete them all when one caught his eye and made him sit up in bed. Kevin.

Will blinked a few times hard to make sure he was seeing the screen right. It was definitely Kevin. He checked the time stamp just in case it was an old message that he simply forgot to delete. It had come in about an hour ago. Will wasn't sure how long he sat there just staring at the name before he finally got up the courage to open the text. It simply said, "You OK?"

Will wondered if he should respond. It would be rude not to respond, wouldn't it? What should he say? Will spent the next ten minutes writing and deleting various responses before finally settling on the simplest and most honest answer, "I don't know." He hit the Send button and waited. Almost immediately, the phone buzzed with a reply, "I'm so sorry."

Will felt his eyes prick with tears as he responded back, "Thanks." Then, before he had time to think about it, he typed, "I miss you." He quickly hit the Send button. This time he didn't get an immediate response. After five minutes, Will tossed the phone onto his bedside table kicking himself. He shouldn't have sent that text. What was he thinking? He turned over onto his side and punched his pillow looking dejectedly across the room at nothing in particular. When his phone buzzed ten minutes later, it scared the life out of him. He leapt out of bed grabbing for the phone and ended up dropping it with a clatter. It took three attempts to finally pick it up. As he read the message, he grinned happily, "Meet 4 coffee a.m.?"


	3. Chapter 3

Will nervously bounced his leg up and down as he sat at the table inside the café. He had agreed to meet Kevin here at eight o'clock but had arrived ridiculously early as he couldn't stand the waiting. As he checked his watch for the thousandth time, he groaned when he realized that he still had another ten minutes to wait. He glanced up at the sound of the door opening and shot out of his seat when he saw Kevin. Apparently, he wasn't the only one anxious about meeting. Kevin glanced around the room, smiling slightly when his eyes landed on Will.

Will's mouth went dry as he watched Kevin walk across the room towards him. Finally, Kevin was in front of him with a small smile on his lips and warmth radiating from his eyes. "Hey Will."

Will barely croaked out a "Hi" before panicking about what to do next. Fortunately, Kevin didn't have the same problem. He stepped right up to Will and wrapped his arms around him hugging him tightly. Will closed his eyes and sighed as he sagged into the embrace. It felt so good to have Kevin's arms around him again. He was grateful that the hug was a real one and not one of those obligatory hugs that people give purely out of formality. This was a lingering hug given with affection. As Will hugged Kevin back, he heard Kevin whisper in his ear, "I'm so sorry."

Will hugged Kevin harder. "Thanks."

Kevin pulled back, and they sat down at the table together. Kevin's eyes were filled with compassion as he said, "How are you doing Will?"

"Okay." Will said. He looked across the table at Kevin and could tell that Kevin didn't quite believe that. It was one of the many things Will loved about Kevin. That look of patient understanding in his eyes that always made Will feel safe, like he could tell Kevin anything without any fear of judgment or criticism. Will glanced down at the table as he said, "Honestly?" He glanced back up and continued after Kevin nodded, "I don't feel anything."

Kevin gazed into Will's eyes searchingly for a few moments before saying, "Why do you think that is?"

Will shrugged his shoulders and glanced back down at the table. He wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that Kevin had picked up on the fear in him that both Avery and Gunnar had missed. "Avery and Gunnar said that it was probably shock since the news was so sudden and unexpected."

Kevin continued to gaze into his eyes. "What do you think?"

Will was spared having to answer that by the waitress coming by the table. She smiled at Will and said, "So, you actually are meeting someone." She turned to Kevin and winked. "We were starting to wonder if you were real. Here you go. Black regular coffee." She set the cup down in front of Kevin with another smile and walked away.

Kevin glanced across at Will, his eyes twinkling with merriment. Will felt his face flush as he mumbled "I couldn't sleep" before taking a gulp of his own coffee.

A silence descended over the table as Kevin took a few sips of his coffee. Without looking up at Will, Kevin said softly, "You didn't answer my question."

Will immediately deflected with "What question?" Kevin sighed and arched an eyebrow at him. Will should've known that wasn't going to work. Will fidgeted in his seat before slamming his cup down harder than he intended. "Fine." Will hesitated before finally stating what had him so afraid. "What if I really don't feel anything?"

Despite Will's defiantly confrontational tone of voice, Kevin remained calm and said evenly, "Why do you think that?"

"Why?" Will asked incredulously. "Well, gee, let's start with the fact that he dumped me on the side of the highway at seventeen years old to fend for myself, then doesn't speak to me for ten years, reappears out of nowhere, finds out that I'm still gay and goes back to forgetting that I exist again."

Will's voice had steadily risen in anger during his speech, and he glanced around as he realized that people had turned to look at him. He ducked his head and clenched his jaw trying to calm down. His anger dissipated and his heart skipped a beat when Kevin reached over and grasped his hand. "You just proved that you do feel something."

Will huffed out a breath. "Anger wasn't exactly what I was expecting."

Kevin looked at him reassuringly. "Maybe not, but it's honest." Kevin gazed down at their entwined hands gathering his thoughts. "Will, your relationship with your father was…complicated. While he was alive, deep down you probably held out hope that he might change his mind someday." At Will's snort of derision, Kevin clarified, "As unlikely as that was, there was still a chance. Now, there isn't any. You have a lot of unresolved feelings that you need to sort through. It's going to take time. Maybe this is your heart's way of telling you that it isn't ready to deal with it yet."

"Yeah, or maybe I really just don't feel anything." Will said spitefully.

Kevin grasped Will's hand tighter. "I don't believe that." Will was slightly taken aback at the depth of caring in Kevin's eyes. "Doesn't sound like the Will Lexington I know. That guy has a big heart." Will tore his eyes away from Kevin afraid that Kevin would see how much he still loved him. He stared at Kevin's hand holding his, Kevin's thumb absently grazing back and forth across Will's knuckles. "You're going to the funeral right?"

Will shook his head. "I don't think so." Will's head popped up in surprise when he heard Kevin say his name disappointedly. "You think I should?"

"Of course I think you should. You'll regret it if you don't."

Will looked at Kevin who seemed so sure of that statement. He mulled it over for a few moments. "I don't know. I don't want to go alone."

"Surely somebody can go with you."

Will shook his head as he weighed his options. "Layla's still getting over Jeff's death. I don't think asking her to go to a funeral right now would be appropriate. Gunnar wants to stick close to home." At Kevin's questioning look, Will said, "Scarlet broke up with Caleb. Gunnar wants to be close in case she needs him." Kevin nodded knowingly. "Avery found out that Juliette is in a treatment facility for her post-partum depression. He's been letting her see Cadence as part of her therapy. He's not going to want to leave town with all that going on. He doesn't trust Juliette as far as he can throw her." Will shrugged his shoulders. "There isn't anybody else."

Will went back to gazing at Kevin's hand. He heard Kevin take a deep breath. "What about me?"

Will's head snapped up, "You? Do you mean that?"

Kevin smiled softly at him. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't."

Will just stared at Kevin in disbelief. "Why would you do that?"

Kevin's smile softened even more. "Because I care about you, and I don't want you to live with that kind of regret."

Will felt a smile spread across his face as he nodded in acquiescence. "Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

Will sat in the rental car staring out the window at the funeral home thinking this was one of the worst ideas he'd had in a long time. Why was he here again? Oh right, the guy he was hopelessly in love with held his hand and batted his eyelashes at him. The same guy who dumped him in an alleyway and was currently his ex-boyfriend. "I'm pathetic."

"What did you say?"

Will turned away from the window to glance over at Kevin sitting in the passenger seat. "Nothing. It's nothing."

Kevin turned in his seat so he was facing Will. "What's running through that head of yours? You barely said two words on the flight from Nashville to Abilene. And you haven't said anything since we got in the car from Abilene to Sweetwater." Kevin smiled at him. "Fortunately for you it was only forty-five minutes, and I didn't have to listen to Gunnar getting laid in the backseat. Otherwise, I would have had to kill you."

Will smiled slightly at the joke. "That was pretty bad wasn't it?"

"Very!" Kevin said with a chuckle. Silence descended around them for a few moments before Kevin said pleadingly, "Talk to me Will."

Will sighed. "Why are we here again? Can't we just go home?"

Kevin looked at him seriously and said softly, "You are home."

Will shook his head in denial. "This hasn't been my home in over ten years. My home is in Nashville with Gunnar and Avery and Cadence and Layla and…" Will stopped himself before saying "you". "Why is this so important to you anyway?" Will said accusatorily.

"I told you…"

"Yeah, yeah, that whole I'll regret it crap. What's the real reason? Have you been through this?" Will asked.

Kevin turned and stared out the windshield for a long moment collecting his thoughts before he turned back to Will. "It's just a matter of time." At Will's questioning look, Kevin continued. "I've known people who have been in your shoes. Some chose not to attend the funeral. Most of them regretted it." Kevin stared down into his lap. "I've watched some good friends get eaten alive by it. Never getting that closure, never saying the things that needed to be said." Kevin looked back up at Will his eyes shiny with tears. "Every time I hear about someone's parent dying I think about picking up the phone and calling him. Just pick up the phone and fix it before it's too late. But I don't. So it's just a matter of time before I'm sitting where you are, staring out the window at a funeral parlor wishing more than anything that I didn't have to be there." Will turned and stared out the window. "Mostly I hope that someone cares enough about me when the time comes to haul my ass out of the car." Will turned back to Kevin and saw the determination in his eyes. He also saw how much Kevin truly cared about him, so with one last look out the window, he reached down and undid his seat belt.

* * *

Will stopped abruptly as he entered the funeral parlor. He barely registered Kevin bumping into his side as he gazed down the aisle. A woman was standing next to a casket talking to an older couple. She had a tissue in her hand and wiped her nose periodically with it. She was an attractive woman in her mid-fifties with blonde hair and blue eyes. I look a lot like her Will thought as tears blurred his vision of the mother he hadn't seen or spoken to in over ten years. He blinked back his tears when he heard Kevin speak beside him. "Is that your Mom?" Will didn't trust his voice so he simply nodded. Kevin then voiced Will's inner thoughts when he said, "You look a lot like her." Will sniffed and nodded as Kevin continued, "I don't think you ever told me her name."

Will swallowed hard and cleared his throat before saying, "Betsy…Betsy Lexington."

Will felt Kevin's hand brush up and down his back, "You okay?"

Will sniffed again and nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay."

Will took a few moments to gather his courage before he started to walk down the aisle towards his mother. He had no idea what her reaction would be to his being there so he braced himself for the worst. She was still pre-occupied with the older couple so it wasn't until he was standing in front of her that she finally registered his presence. As soon as she saw him, her eyes flew open in surprise. She gasped loudly stumbling backwards, catching herself on the casket behind her as her hand fluttered to her throat. "Will?" she said in not much more than a whisper.

Will took a steadying breath before saying evenly, "Mom."

Will watched as his mother's face suddenly contorted as she burst into tears. "Oh Will!" Will was stunned when she launched herself at him wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as she sobbed. "Thank you Lord…thank you…my boy…my precious boy…Will…." It took Will several moments to register what was happening before finally wrapping his arms around his mother and hugging her back just as tightly. Tears streamed down his face as relief washed over him. Unlike his father, his mother hadn't stopped loving him. He could feel it in the arms wrapped around him like a healing balm spread across a deep wound.

Will had no idea how long they stood there before his mother pulled back and rested her palms against his cheeks looking up into his face lovingly. "Let me look at you. It's been so long…too long. Still so handsome." Will was too emotional to speak so he just smiled down at her as he took one of her hands into his own and kissed it gently. His mother must have caught something out of the corner of her eye because she turned slowly to her right. "Oh my, where are my manners?"

Will turned as well and saw Kevin standing beside them waiting patiently with his hands clasped behind his back. "Oh right…Mom…this is…" Will suddenly stopped as he realized that he had no idea how to introduce Kevin.

Fortunately, Kevin noticed Will's panicked look and stepped forward. He grasped Betsy's outstretched hand and said smoothly, "Hello Mrs. Lexington. I'm Kevin…Kevin Bicks. I'm a friend and co-worker of your son's." Will breathed a sigh of relief as he watched Kevin place his other hand on top of Betsy's as he said with heartfelt compassion and sympathy. "I am so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." Betsy said demurely.

Will noticed that more people were starting to enter the funeral parlor so he turned to his mother and said, "Mom, there are more guests starting to arrive now. Are you okay? Do you want me to leave? We can talk more later."

Betsy grabbed Will's arm frantically as she pleaded, "No, please don't leave. I want you here with me."

"Okay," Will said soothingly. "If you're sure?"

Betsy nodded as she turned to the new guests that had arrived and welcomed them. As the evening progressed, Will stood by his mother's side and greeted people he hadn't seen in years. His mother openly acknowledged his presence to all that came by saying over and over how grateful she was that her boy had finally come home. It raised more than a few questions in Will's mind but it wasn't the time or place to discuss it. Occasionally, he would catch Kevin's eye from across the room. Kevin would grace Will with an encouraging smile as he milled around the room chatting with the other guests.

After the last guest left, the funeral director came by to speak with his mother. Will took the opportunity to walk across the room and check in with Kevin. Kevin smiled at him as he reached out and gripped Will's arm reassuringly. "How are you holding up?"

Will glanced back at his mother. "Honestly, I don't have any idea at this point."

"Why? What's up?" Kevin asked.

"I just…I didn't expect…" Will started but didn't know exactly what he was trying to say.

Kevin nodded knowingly. "Your Mom surprised you. You weren't expecting the reaction you got."

Will let out a breath, "No, not even close." Will rubbed his forehead as he spoke. "I'm so confused right now. I have so many questions but this isn't the place or…" Will stopped when he saw Kevin's eyes shift past him. He turned to see his Mom approaching them.

Betsy smiled at Will as she wrapped her arms around his upper arm squeezing tightly. "I hope you're not planning on spending the night in a hotel. I won't hear of it. You'll be sleeping in your own room tonight."

Will looked at his mother in shock. "Oh…uhm…I don't…" Will stammered as he glanced at Kevin helplessly.

Kevin tried to put Will's mind at ease. "It's okay Will. You should spend time with your Mom."

Betsy turned to Kevin and said, "You'll stay there too of course."

Kevin glanced at Will uneasily as he said, "I don't think that would be…"

"Nonsense." Betsy cut in. "What kind of hostess would I be if I let Will's friend sleep in a hotel when we have plenty of room. You can have the spare bedroom." When Kevin opened his mouth to protest, Betsy quickly continued, "Not another word. You'll be doing me a favor. I don't want to be in the house alone. It will make me feel better to have two strapping young men there to protect me." Betsy smiled as she looked up at Will again squeezing his arm.

Kevin shared a look with Will before replying, "I guess I can't refuse then."


	5. Chapter 5

Will glanced around the living room cataloging everything that he saw. Some things were exactly as he remembered them and others had been added since he left home. When they initially arrived at the house, Betsy had taken both Will and Kevin directly upstairs to their rooms to unburden themselves of their bags. Will had been shocked to see "his" room. It was a completely different room devoid of anything related to Will. Everything had been changed from the paint color to the drapes to the bed to the furniture. It was nothing like he remembered. Will felt his insides clench as he thought, "I've been erased." It was just one more thing that didn't add up based on his mother's reaction to seeing him.

Once Will and Kevin had gotten settled, they went downstairs to have something to eat. As is common with a death in a family especially one in a small town like Sweetwater, friends and neighbors had offered their condolences in the form of food. The refrigerator was jammed with casserole dishes and the kitchen counters were littered with pans and plates filled with cookies, pies, brownies and the like. They ate and made small talk through dinner avoiding anything serious. Not long after eating, Kevin excused himself saying that he was tired from the trip and was going to turn in. Of course, Will knew that Kevin was just giving Will and his mother a chance to talk privately knowing that Will had questions that needed answers.

Will perused the house as he waited for his mother to clear up the dinner dishes and tidy the kitchen. He was also trying to gather his thoughts. He had so many questions but should he hit his mother with them tonight? She had just lost her husband and was trying to cope with the grief. Maybe discussing their fractured relationship would be more than she could handle all at once. Will started as he felt a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry Will. I didn't mean to startle you."

Will took a relieved breath. "Sorry, I was deep in thought."

Betsy looked at him closely. "What kind of thoughts?"

Will hesitated wondering how he should answer her. He stepped around her and walked over to the couch sitting down with his elbows on his thighs wringing his hands. "That's a loaded question."

Betsy slowly walked over to the couch and sat down next to Will. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

Will searched his mother's face for a long moment before saying quietly, "Are you sure you want to talk about this now?"

Will watched as tears started to run down his mother's face as she said confidently, "No." She quickly brushed away some tears as she turned to him. "But I doubt I ever will be so…ask."

Will took some time to think about what he wanted to say. "I'm so confused. You haven't tried to contact me in over ten years. I show up today and you act like I'm your long lost child that you've been pining away for. Like I've been lost or missing. All you had to do was pick up a phone."

"I know." Betsy said quietly as she sat rigidly on the couch with her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "Please don't think I'm speaking ill of the dead." She said glancing at Will as he nodded. "A lot of that was your father. I'm not trying to absolve myself. I know that I was equally to blame." Betsy stopped to collect herself. "This is so hard." Will waited patiently for her to continue. "That day…the day your father put you in the truck and drove away…the day he saw you…he was so angry."

"And you?" Will asked.

"I wasn't angry. I was shocked, stunned. I didn't know what to think. All my life…our lives…we had been told that being…" Betsy stopped as she struggled with the word.

"Gay Mom. The word is gay." Will said trying to keep the hardness out of his voice.

Betsy nodded. "Gay. All our lives we were told that being…gay…was a sin. That it was wrong and subversive. It was something that happened to other people, not good Christians like us." Will clenched his teeth and balled his hands into fists in his lap. "It was easier for your father. Bill was always very black or white. He never saw things in shades of gray. He said that you had made your choice…"

Will shot up off the couch in anger. "Choice? Is that what you think?" Will started pacing the floor with pent up anger. "Do you honestly believe that I would choose this?"

Betsy looked straight at him and said with conviction, "No." Will felt some of his anger dissipate when he heard that. "It was something your father and I disagreed on. He felt that you had chosen that way of life. I never believed that." Will stopped pacing and crossed his arms in front of his chest as he stood before his mother. "I felt like I had been torn in two. On the one hand, I believed what I had been taught. That being…gay…was evil. But, on the other hand, I saw my precious little boy. So young and so innocent…and I knew it wasn't true. I didn't know what to do."

Will waited as his mother took a moment to wipe the tears from her face and blow her nose. "I wanted to reach out to you…so many times. But your father was adamant that you had made your choice and that all we could do was pray for you to come to your senses. For God to save you. When we started seeing you on TV and then married to that girl Layla, we thought our prayers had been answered. That's when Bill decided to reach out to you. I was devastated when he came back and told me that you hadn't changed. That it was all a lie."

"It was a lie," Will said grimly. "I was so ashamed of who I really was that I used Layla to prove to the world…to myself…that I was something that I'm not. I nearly destroyed her to protect myself. By the time Dad showed up in Nashville, I was finally in love for the first time. Truly, honestly in love." Will shook his head as he remembered back. "Dad showing up in Nashville threw me. I wanted his acceptance so badly that I nearly lost Kev…." Will stopped short hoping his mother hadn't heard what he had started to say without thinking.

Betsy looked at him with wide eyes that glanced from Will to the stairs leading up and back again. "Kevin?" Will's eyes darted away as he fidgeted from side to side. "Kevin's your…"

"No." Will said emphatically. At his Mother's bewildered expression, he placed his hands on his hips and sighed. "It's complicated."

Will wasn't sure where to go from here and was surprised when his mother said, "Tell me."

He snorted. "That is not something you want to hear about."

Betsy surprised him. She sat up straighter with a determined look in her eyes and repeated, "Tell me."

Will looked at her hard almost daring her to back down but she didn't. "Okay, fine. Luke Wheeler put Kevin and me together to write songs for a new album. I hadn't written anything before so I needed help. Kevin's a great songwriter, successful too." Will paused as he remembered back. "Kevin pushed me to be honest with myself. He didn't let me skate through with a bunch of fluff songs. He made me dig deep inside myself to write songs that meant something. I ended up falling in love with him. When Dad came to town, we hadn't been together long. I almost threw Kevin away to keep up the pretense of being straight. But when it came down to it, I couldn't watch him walk away. So I came out publicly instead with Dad standing right there."

Will closed his eyes seeing both the look on Kevin's face as he had turned and walked out the door as well as his Dad's face after he had said the now infamous words. He opened his eyes when he heard his mother say, "Tell me the rest."

"I screwed up." Will swallowed down the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. "Kevin and I were together for about two months after that but I screwed it up."

Betsy said sympathetically, "How?"

"I didn't handle coming out very well. I'm still not. Kevin got tired of my whining so he dumped me."

Betsy narrowed her eyes at him. "Then why is he here with you?"

"He heard about Dad passing away. He reached out to me. Offered to come with me as a friend, to support me. He was there when Dad and I last saw each other. He knew I'd have a hard time with it."

Betsy looked at him thoughtfully. "Huh."

"Huh what?" Will said suspiciously.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Betsy said quickly. A few moments of silence passed between them before Betsy said timidly, "Are you still in love with him?"

Will fought back tears as he said, "Yes."

Betsy sighed deeply. "I don't know if I'll ever understand it. I'm still very conflicted."

Will snorted in laughter as he smiled ironically at her. "I completely understand that."

Betsy looked up at Will imploringly. "I want to try. I don't want to lose you again."

Will lost his fight to hold back his tears as he choked out, "I don't want to lose you either."

Betsy stood up and walked over to Will encircling him in a tight embrace. Will hugged her back fiercely as he gave up trying to keep his tears at bay.


	6. Chapter 6

Will sat in a folding chair staring at the grave in front of him. The service was over, and he was alone by the gravesite. The service had been fine as services go. Not the best he had ever been to but far from the worst. Many people had come to offer their condolences most of which Will remembered from the previous evening at the funeral parlor. But everyone was gone now, moving on to the church where his parents were members for refreshments and conversation. He had told his mother to go on without him as he wanted to spend some time by himself. She had understood and given his hand a long hard squeeze before leaving.

Now he sat here wondering what he was trying to accomplish by staying behind. He had so many thoughts running through his mind that it was hard to concentrate on just one to try to come to any type of resolution before it was replaced with another. So he sat, his mind spinning in circles. He wasn't sure how long he sat there before it dawned on him that there was a presence off to his side. He sighed thinking it was the cemetery crew wanting to tackle the job of filling in the grave before it got dark. He was surprised when he looked up to see Kevin. Kevin gave him a small smile and said softly, "Hey."

Will was grateful to see Kevin so he reciprocated with a small smile of his own and a soft, "Hey."

"Do you want some company or would you rather be alone?" Kevin asked tentatively.

Will inclined his head towards the seat next to him. Kevin sat down quietly beside him. Will closed his eyes as he felt Kevin's warmth along his side. It made him feel better, and the thoughts in his head slowed down. He took a deep breath and kept his eyes closed until he felt Kevin take his hand. When he opened his eyes, he saw Kevin's hand wrapped around his own. He squeezed Kevin's hand tightly, and Kevin squeezed back just as hard. That was when the first sob ripped through him. It took him completely by surprise. He tried desperately to stop the next one from coming and was only slightly successful. By the time the third one came, Kevin had him in a tight embrace. Softly Kevin's voice wafted into his consciousness, "It's okay Will…I've got you…just let go…I won't let you go…I promise…I've got you…it's okay…"

It was the safe harbor Will needed to unleash his emotions, so he did, sobbing into Kevin's shoulder. True to his word, Kevin held onto him until long after the sobs passed. When Will finally pulled away from Kevin, he felt like he had been hit by a train. Kevin pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to Will silently. Will wiped his eyes and blew his nose sitting back on his seat. Will sat there dejectedly watching Kevin's hand rub his thigh lulling Will until he could hardly keep his eyes open. He startled awake when he heard Kevin speak. "Will? Are you okay?"

Will turned to him blearily. "I think so."

Kevin continued to rub his thigh comfortingly. "Do you want to talk?" Will just sat there not knowing what to say. He still hadn't figured out his thoughts regarding his Dad yet. Kevin seemed to understand that, so he turned the conversation in a different direction. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you much today. How did things go with your Mom last night?"

It took Will a moment to adjust to the change in topic. "Good. It was good."

"She answered your questions?" Kevin asked calmly.

"Yeah, she did. It was what I suspected. She was mostly following my Dad's lead." Will thought about his mother for a moment before saying, "My mother has some strength to her in her own way, but she's always bowed to my father's say so. She always let him lead when it came to any big decisions. She would never go against him." Will paused as he contemplated his next thought. "It will be interesting to see what she does without him around. I wonder how she'll be different. She's already told me that she wants us to stay in touch."

Kevin squeezed his thigh and smiled at him. "That's great Will. I'm happy for you. You may have lost your Dad, but it sounds like you got your Mom back."

Will smiled at that, "I did." Will suddenly turned to Kevin. "Thank you."

"For what?" Kevin said deprecatingly.

Will leaned forward and looked directly into Kevin's eyes. "For caring enough about me to haul my ass out of the car."

Will watched as a plethora of emotions sped across Kevin's face before he simply said, "You're welcome."


	7. Chapter 7

Will pulled into Kevin's driveway and put the truck in park. He turned to Kevin planning to thank him for everything he had done when Kevin spoke first. "Do you want to come in?" At Will's surprised expression, Kevin clarified, "For coffee? Maybe we could talk for a bit?"

Will answered by turning off the truck and opening his door. He followed Kevin into the house. It felt a little strange being there again. Will looked around nostalgically while Kevin went into the kitchen to start the coffee. Within ten minutes, Will was sitting on the couch with a hot cup of coffee in his hands and Kevin sitting next to him. They sat in silence for several minutes before Kevin said, "Are you okay Will? You've been quiet since the funeral."

Will took a deep breath. "I am. I've just been…doing a lot of thinking."

"About your Dad?" Kevin asked.

Will nodded as he stared into his coffee cup. "My dad…my mom…you."

"Me?" Kevin asked curiously.

Will turned to Kevin in all seriousness and said, "I owe you a lot." When Kevin started to shake his head and speak, Will cut him off. "No, I do. You were right. If I hadn't gone to the funeral, I probably wouldn't have my Mom back in my life. Who knows if she ever would have reached out to me if I hadn't gone back?" Will paused to stare back down at his coffee before he continued. "On the way home, I was thinking of how I could repay you."

"You don't have to do that." Kevin said emphatically.

Will turned and stared at Kevin before reaching out his hand. "Give me your phone."

"My phone?" Kevin asked quizzically.

Will flexed his fingers at him. "Come on, hand it over." Kevin reached into his pocket and brought out his phone placing it in Will's hand with a questioning look on his face. Will scrolled through Kevin's contacts and found the number he was looking for. He pressed the call button and held the phone up to his ear as he turned and faced Kevin. The phone rang three times before it was picked up. "Yes, can I speak to Mr. Bicks please?" Will watched as Kevin's face drained of all color and his mouth fell open in shock. "Hi Mr. Bicks. I have someone here who wants to speak with you." Will reached over and placed the phone to Kevin's ear, but Kevin just stared at him his eyes wide. Will pulled the phone back placing his hand over it saying, "Talk to him." He put the phone back up to Kevin's ear.

Will heard Kevin's father speaking but couldn't hear what he said. It seemed to bring Kevin out of his stupor. "Hi…Dad." Kevin took the phone from Will holding it up to his own ear. Will watched as Kevin's expression turned incredulous. "Wait, what? What makes you think I'm in jail? No, he's not a police officer. He's a friend." Kevin jumped off the couch pacing back and forth in frustration. "Yes, I'm perfectly capable of making my own phone calls. It doesn't mean I'm in trouble. No, I don't need money. I'm supporting myself just fine." Will watched as Kevin stopped pacing, looked up at the ceiling and clenched his jaw. "Yes, as a songwriter. Believe it or not people actually make a living writing songs. Yes, they do! Just because you think it's a lame profession doesn't mean…" Kevin stopped suddenly as he turned and locked eyes with Will.

Kevin's shoulders sagged as he blew out a breath. "You know what? I'm not doing this with you. That's not why I called." Kevin rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Okay…that's not why HE called." Will could hear the voice on the other end of the phone chattering away before Kevin finally burst out, "Dammit, can't you just stop being an ass for two seconds?" There was silence on the other end of the phone as Kevin closed his eyes. "Look, I get it. I know I'm a major disappointment to you. You were expecting some macho, career soldier to follow in your footsteps and instead you got…you got a sissy, gay country songwriter. I get it. But that doesn't mean that things have to…that we can't find…that there isn't…" Kevin stopped to collect himself and took in a deep breath before continuing, "My friend's father passed away. We were just in Texas for the funeral, and I…it got me thinking. I hate the way things are between us. I know you think that I hate you but I don't. If something happened to you, I'd…" Kevin's voice cracked so he paused to clear his throat. He waited a few beats before whispering, "Please say something."

Will scooted forward on the couch anxiously waiting to hear the voice on the other end of the phone, but there was silence. "Dad? Are you still there?" There continued to be silence from the other end of the phone. Kevin nodded his head and said resignedly, "Okay" before ending the call and tossing the phone onto the ottoman.

Will stood up and walked over to Kevin putting his arms around him. Kevin turned into the embrace as Will wrapped an arm around Kevin's waist and placed his hand behind Kevin's head. "It's okay Kev. You tried. That's all that you can do."

"I know." Kevin said into Will's shoulder. Will held Kevin for a few minutes before pulling back slightly, his face mere inches away from Kevin's. He expected Kevin to step away, but he didn't. They stood staring at each other for several moments. Will leaned forward slightly then paused giving Kevin a chance to pull away but, again, he didn't. Will bridged the final distance between them and placed his lips on Kevin's in a gentle, tentative kiss. Will felt Kevin's hand slide around his neck as Kevin deepened the kiss, opening his mouth and flicking his tongue over Will's lips. Will groaned and opened his mouth in response, his tongue finding Kevin's as the kiss turned passionate.

Without being fully conscious of doing so, they both started moving towards the bedroom their mouths fused together, hands finding their way under shirts to caress bare skin. It wasn't until they tumbled onto the bed that they finally came up for air. Will gazed down at Kevin, "Are you sure?" Kevin simply pulled Will down for another passionate kiss.

Will propped himself up on his elbow as he gazed down at Kevin lovingly. Kevin was lying on his back his face turned towards Will still asleep. Will smiled to himself as he watched Kevin sleeping thinking back over the night before. He was having a hard time believing that he was back in Kevin's bed. Was it just a one-time thing or were they back together? He hoped it was the latter. He was in a better frame of mind then when Kevin had dumped him. He hadn't made a ton of progress but his experience with Wade Cole had given him a perspective that he didn't have before. Dealing with the death of his father and his reconciliation with his mother had also made impacts on him in ways that he wasn't even clear about yet.

Will was deep in thought when he heard Kevin take a deep breath as his eyes blinked open. He looked up groggily at Will and smiled. "What are you doing?"

Will smiled back as Kevin sleepily closed his eyes. "Watching you."

Kevin kept his eyes shut as he said, "That sounds exciting."

Will's smile widened, "You'd be surprised."

Kevin opened his eyes only to narrow them at Will suspiciously. "Should I be worried?"

Will laughed, "No, I'm just teasing you."

Kevin closed his eyes again. "How about you stop teasing me and go make some coffee?"

Will answered in an offended tone, "Am I your personal slave or something?"

Kevin opened his eyes with a sly smile adorning his lips. "Let's just say I would be…very…grateful." Kevin said suggestively.

Will leaned down towards Kevin saying; "Well when you say it like that," before placing a hard kiss on Kevin's lips.

Will jumped out of bed and went into the kitchen to start the coffee. It was nearly done by the time Kevin sauntered into the living room stretching his arms over his head and yawning. Will grabbed him around the waist before he could bring his arms down and started kissing his neck. He was rewarded with a chuckle from Kevin as he kissed up to Kevin's ear and then back down again. Kevin groaned into Will's neck about the same time Will heard a phone ringing. He felt Kevin squirming in his embrace as Kevin reached down to the ottoman to pick up his phone. However, Will had no intention of letting Kevin go, so he continued to make Kevin struggle to get to the phone. He heard Kevin laugh at him; "Come on Will."

Kevin pushed Will away with a playful look as he held the phone to his ear. "Hello?" Will watched as the playful expression quickly fled. "Dad?" Kevin stared at Will with astonishment clearly written on his face. "Uhm…yeah…I can do that." Kevin listened to the voice on the other end of the phone before saying, "Okay" and hanging up. Kevin just stared at the phone in his hand for several moments before turning to Will and saying incredulously, "That was my Dad."

"What did he say?" Will asked anxiously.

"He and Mom are coming up to the cabin today. He wanted to know if I wanted to meet them for breakfast there tomorrow morning."

Will took in Kevin's befuddled expression and said, "That's a good thing…right?"

Kevin just shrugged his shoulders in disbelief. "I guess?"

Will placed his hands on Kevin's shoulders. "Think positive." Will rubbed his hands over Kevin's shoulders reassuringly as he cautiously said, "They say things come in threes."

"Threes?" Kevin asked quizzically.

"Yeah," Will continued tentatively. "Me and my Mom…you and your Dad…us…" Will's heart was racing as he watched Kevin carefully. "Unless you're having second thoughts about last night?"

Kevin glanced up at him with a soft smile and a slight shake of his head. "No. No second thoughts."

Will couldn't contain the wide smile that spread across his face as he stood in front of Kevin. He remained there, stupidly grinning, until Kevin finally cocked his head at him. "Weren't you supposed to be getting me coffee?"

Will laughed, "Oh right." He turned to go into the kitchen before suddenly turning back around again causing Kevin to nearly bump into him. "How grateful did you say you were going to be again?"

Kevin chuckled as he leaned into Will and said lasciviously, "Very grateful."


End file.
